December Part 2

After a fun-filled family time with the Arnhold side, we headed down to Sunnyside the next day to celebrate with the Haaks.  

Daryl and his crew were already there.

Trouble!

Trouble!

The boys got to work the next day sawing up a tree that had fallen near Grandma and Grandpa's house.  The kids sure enjoyed watching the "action."

That evening we had our immediate Haak family gathering.

We got the kids in their matching pjs.  Thanks Aunt Tiff!  

And then we tried to get a few pictures...

The girls got Bitty Babies this year from Grandma:).

The boys got Nerf Bow N Arrows

Ambush!

The next morning I asked Jared to take Hudson to the Dairy to let him get some energy out.  He's 4 and definitely has come into his own personality:).

Later that night, Hannah started to get really fussy.  Ok, teeth?  Probably that's it.  She was screaming when we put her down.  An hour later we knew why…the flu.  Yes Hannah got the stomach flu around 11pm or so and emptied her stomach and proceeded to dry heave until we hours in the morning.  5 hours approximately of throwing up.  Poor baby.  Luckily daddy was there to help and console her.

We finally got her to sleep!

The next day was the extended family Haak gathering…or well it was supposed to be.  With Uncle Jerry's death, we didn't quite know what the plans were.  Some of the family members said "Jerry would have wanted us to celebrate" so we did.  Obviously Hannah wasn't going to go and infect everyone so I stayed home with her.  I wasn't feeling the best anyways so I was glad to relax.  Half way through, Jared text me and we switched places so I could say hi.  

When I got there, Hudson was engaging with Ashley, the Pumpkin Princess. She is Jerry's middle daughter.  Rosie, Jerry's wife, did end up coming along with all three kids.  I was impressed.  I would have wanted to seclude myself but she said it was good for the kids to get out of the house.  

Hudson and Ashley

It was so good to see everyone!  But as you can see, it's a large family.  It's hard to have a conversation with anyone when you have so many people, kids running around, and so on.  I've almost found it difficult to interact the last few Haak gatherings because its so "large".  I really struggled with what to say to Rosie and the kids.  What do you say when a beloved father and husband is gone?  I mean we are celebrating his new life with Christ and freedom from pain, but how do you say anything to someone? I hate silence and love to fill the lull but I was left speechless.  I said my hi's to the family but it was definitely a somber evening.  

Part of the group

On the TV behind Hudson and Ashley was a slide show of pictures honoring Jerry.  There were great discussions of trips, who is that? in the pictures, and of course the classic making fun of hair styles and clothing styles.  It was good to see everyone, mainly Rosie and the kids, in good spirits.  As I left, my heart just ached for their family.  Their dad is gone.  Husband gone.  Blink. 

The next morning we relaxed, played a little legos:).  Thanks Aunt Lissa!

Yum!  Food!

Working on using her spoon

Aunt Tiff and Raylee.  Tiff's expecting baby girl #2 in May!

Helping Uncle DD get some firewood

Starting to eat again

Happy girl again!

Many family members were coming in town for the funeral that we had never met before.  They had never seen Grandma & Grandpa's home, since they just moved in, so they all came over after church.  I was debating on whether or not to go home to Spokane to watch my friend's little girl because she was having back surgery.  I would have to leave that night late because Uncle Jerry's burial was at 9:30 am but I wanted to keep my commitment.  After much conversation and family activity, I told her we were going to stay.  I'm glad I did because after we put the kids down and I started to not feel well at all.  My stomach was hurting bad.  Cramping.  The guests had arrived and I looked at them blankly without introducing my self and went downstairs.  I had just cleaned my toilet when the flu hit me.   Yuck.  5 hours of puking later, it was over.  

Meanwhile...

Daddy giving them wagon rides

Hannah holding daddy's hand as she walks around

Isn't this how most people watch TV?

Later that night my niece got it, then Tiffany, and it ended with Grandma Ev.  Not one boy had gotten it but all us girls were knocked out flat.  It wasn't just a puke and rally flu. It was a violent, pump your stomach and some, flu.  Ouch.  It brought back the 9 months I was pregnant with Hannah.  Hmm…note to self: no more babies.  

The next day we lounged around the house.  Nobody felt well, at least none of the women.  We were all waiting for the guys to start dropping like flies.  I started to stress about if the boys got it during the funeral and couldn't make it.  I relaxed and prayed if they got it, to have it be quick and speedy but none of them got it.  Not.one.boy.  Hudson had bounds of energy and no one else did.  We were all sleep deprived from our flu episodes.  Poor kid!  He really needed to get out of the house and do something but we managed to entertain him with a few shows.

Tuesday morning rolled around and it was a somber one.  We ended up taking Hannah and Hudson to the burial site.  I cried just walking up to it.  Hudson looked at me asked if I was alright.  There's something about a 4 year old holding your hand saying "It's ok mommy."  I saw the tent, the widow, the kids, my cousins.  Then to see Jared's brother, Jordan, as a pale bearer.  Oh man.  It was real.  He was gone.  Family started showing up, giving hugs.  Pastor Jelmer said a few words.  Rosie asked if anyone wanted to share something they could.  Then she cried.  I cried more.  

Then we were dismissed to head to the church for the service.  We knew there was going to be a crowd.  Jerry was a very influential man.  He was very active in his church, successful entrepreneur and orchardist, and part of many organizations that are part of his amazing legacy.  

Lissa had asked the church if someone would be willing to watch the kids in the nursery.  It was so thoughtful that someone dedicated their time to watch my kids so we could focus on the funeral and not our kids and their needs.  I was so grateful!  When you walked into the foyer, Aunt Sheri had decorated a few things in remembrance of Jerry:

The church had just been finish dthis fall and was huge.  The family had their own wing.  We had a room where we could gather our thoughts, eat a bite, and then go in.  It was amazing to see how many family members made up the first 10 pews of the church.  We walked into a beautiful display of applies, orchard ladders, and a large family portrait.  

My favorite part, if there is a favorite part, of the funeral were all the pictures in the slide show.  The first one showed a lot of family pictures and the song "Thank You For Giving To The Lord."  It was neat to see all those older family pictures when he was young, with young kids.  Then they played his voicemail and then each kid pre-recorded a letter to their dad.  They had individual pictures with their dad.  It was beautiful.  The voicemail part brought tears to my eyes.  

Then Rosie talked.  She was a teacher in her former years and my sis-in-law said "she had her teacher voice on."  Wow did she!  She did great, not crying but giving us real life examples of what Jerry's day-to-day life was like.  How many meds he took, injections, braces in his shoes so he could walk.  It was very touching.  She talked about how Jerry was diagnosed with severe arthritis at the age of 16 (or somewhere around there) and they knew their life together would be cut short but they were in love.  The way she spoke of Jerry with such love and admiration, it was touching.  She talked about how Jerry often talked about dancing in heaven, pain free, with his Lord.  I can picture him now, smiles, dimples, and new moves:).  She read some letters he had been writing on his last trip to Hawaii, where he finished them up.  There were letters to each of his children, wife, siblings, and more.  It was a touching tribute that not many people even think of.  It was from a book he had read.  The letters were AMAZING.  I hope to one day read more of them.

I believe there were around 600 people at this funeral.  The reception had apples as the table decor.  It was just perfect and brought a smile to Jared's and my face.  

Since the funeral was early, we napped the kids at Grandpa and Grandpas.  Jared was able to stay and help at the church.  On our way home, we stopped by the burial site.  

Rest in Peace Uncle Jerry.  Thank you for sharing your legacy with us.  Jared and I have learned so much through your walk with Christ and your example.  We are excited to grow and leave a legacy of Christ to our kids.

Later on we received Rosie's Christmas letter and I wanted to remember her words for ever

"And then our lives changed forever…

On our way home from the airport, Jerry made an appointment for a cough that started in Hawaii.  The chest x-ray was a little cloudy so they suspected the beginnings of pneumonia and gave him a strong antiriot to nip in the bud.  On the 17th he entered the hospital because of the oral antibody did not touch it.  he was immediately hooked put to 2 different antibiotics, blood and phlegm cultures were taken, but the cough got worse and so did his breathing.  The next few days involved different antibiotics, an ambulance ride to a different hospital, reparatory treatments, and bronchial scope procedure.  It took a team of infectious disease experts to identify the cause.  Remember the Lake Power house board trip I mentioned (in Arizona)…it was there that he had breathed in a coccidioidomycosis spore, which was responsible for the fungus growing in his lungs.  A substance so sticky that it could not be coughed up or sucked out.  Antibiotics were changed to anti fungal medication.  It was so different for him to breathe, his heart was working so hard, his body was so tired.  He was miserable.  The decision was made to put him on a ventilator to give his body rest, to I've the drugs time to kill the fungus, and to then hopefully scrape it of his lunches and suck it out.  All he wanted to know is what he had to do to get better.  He walked from his recliner to the bed.  As he lay down…he stopped breathing, his heart stopped.  Code blue.  I rubbed his legs and feet while 12 people tried to bring him back.  After 30 minutes we said they could stop.  It was 4:30pm.  It was Christmas Day.  He now gets to "sleep in heavenly peace."  He never has to experience pain again.  He breathes effortlessly.  I know all this in my head, but the hardest thing I have ever done is leave the body of the man I have loved for over 40 year sin that hospital room…alone.

My journey as a middle-aged woman has changed.  I am a widow.  The "Jerry & Rosie" team no longer exists.  I am the only parent my children have.  I have a business that needs my decisions.  I am on a steep learning curve of things I never wanted to know.  I am often very overwhelmed.  I cry with my children as we struggle to adapt to our new "normal".  But we also know…we are surrounded by the loving support of family and friends.  We have a caring church who upholds us in prayer.  The community we touched now reaches out to us.  And, we had a 'Wonderful Counselor,  a Mighty God, an Everlasting Father, a Prince of Peace', a God who promises not to give us more than we can handle.  We are holding onto that as we being 2014!"

It was a very thought provoking Christmas.  

What's your legacy going to be?